Life is something that we all have in common. The larger scale of it doesn't mean much to most of us on a day to day basis because we're too busy letting it pass us by. Maybe that's just the easiest way, maybe when you actually take a second out to consider it in its entirety, it's just far too overwhelming? Personal perspectives on the purpose of life change all the time, and what life means to one person may mean the complete opposite to another. I've been trying recently to form my own opinion on it, to consider what it is exactly that I want from mine. Honestly, its something that I'm finding extremely difficult- and also pretty scary.
Crazy? Daunting? Exciting? Amazing? Surreal? I'm torn, maybe its just made up of all of these things and more. At the moment I'm personally finding it overwhelming. My head and my heart are in disagreement on the topic, my head, ever the rationalist, is telling me that how I'm feeling right now doesn't matter, that one day soon I'll forget these feelings and I'll be too distracted by the small things to even care. Its telling me to get on with it, to compromise, that there are 7.125 billion other people on this earth and there are things much more significant than myself. My heart rebels against this, its screaming out for an explanation, I guess it thinks that I should be my own main priority and wants me to live an extraordinary life. It wants me to travel, a lot. To stop letting the little things distract me and to live a bigger life, one that asks more of me, it wants a challenge. Another, unknown part of me knows that a compromise between these extremes needs to be drawn.
I feel like everything that's going on in my head cannot possibly be written down in a refined manner, there's just too much swimming around that I'm trying to make sense of. Its just not altogether realistic to agree with my heart, there are issues in life that restrict you, predominantly, funds wouldn't allow, but I also think that if I were to have that life, part of me would always yearn for something more normal, I'd get homesick and at some point I'd want to settle down. The head isn't right either though, its boring, its close-minded and a life full of compromise is something I certainly don't attain to.
I think that it is extremely important to build your life upon things that make you happy, both big and small. I know that's not exactly a groundbreaking philosophy, but the thing is, its said a lot, but I feel as though it's put into practice much much less. Compromising on immediate happiness for a future happiness is sometimes necessary maybe, but it shouldn't be a constant routine. The saying 'life's too short' is a cliché, yes, but its also true,
I didn't really attempt any New Years Resolutions this year, but after the excessive amount of time I've spent in the last week racking my brain trying to figure out what it is I really want, there are some things that I want to take on board. Firstly, I need to be a lot less concerned about what it is that other people are doing, everyone has their own aims, life plans, and unique personality traits; generally, what others are doing shouldn't really concern me. I also need to focus more on things that will make me happier than I am currently; put aside more time for good people, and things I enjoy doing. I think that over the past year I've lost myself a little, I've thrown myself into all the wrong things for me, and I just need to commit to some changes. The last, smaller thing I've considered is that it can be very therapeutic to have some kind of outlet, sometimes its just not appropriate to rant on at another person, so writing it down is something that I'm willing to try in an attempt to de-stress myself. I guess I'll find out if it works.
